Ok. So I am completely at a place in my life where I am super happy. I have a career, not a j o b, but a real life career. And I FRIGGIN LOVE it. My body feels and looks good (yes, modesty is not always my strong suit). Running is my zen. It's where I release. Clear my mind. Where I breathe. I completely lose myself in my music, letting my heart and the notes connect in a peaceful, lovely affair. I have a personal trainer whom I love and hate all at once. I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. And the best part of being part of their lives is watching them grow. Watching their happiness come to fruition.
Having said that, I find my relationships with my married friends drifting. Especially the ones with kids. I am sooo not at a place where I am ready for either of the two. It really hit me when I was at a wedding a few months ago...
I happened to be in what most would consider a serious relationship; however, it was one of those situations where we had both left, but weren't ready to say it out loud. I just remember sitting in the pew, listening to the vows and wanting to run as fast and as far as I could possibly go! All I kept thinking was "this sounds like a terrible idea!!" And then seeing all these parents and their kids - yikes, get me outta here!! (Needless to say, the boyfriend and I went our separate ways very shortly after.)
I really feel detached with those that have kids because I'm just not there. I'm definitely at a place where I'm still selfish with my life. I still want to pursue my goals and discover my passions. I'm not ready to share that yet, and know that when I am, they will be my whole life. But right now, I'm so over seeing photo after photo after photo of your baby/kid sitting in the sandbox. Eating spaghetti. Chewing on a paper plate. Performing in the school play. I mean, seriously?? Is that normal to take so pictures of the most ridiculous stuff?? I assume I'm probably going to turn into the same person whenever I have kids. Aww, irony... Gotta laugh at life.
And by the way friends, I love your kids. They all make me smile and I think they're super precious. And most of all, I love the light they bring to your lives. Just made me laugh seeing TONS of pics from Halloween and realizing how much I am following a different path. Life is good - in all its stages and there is always something to envy on all paths. Enjoy your bundles and take a MILLION pics. I just may not look or comment on all 'em. :)
