Well, it sure has been a while... But, I have been DYING to make an entry. So, here goes nothing...
The thing that has been on my mind lately is girls, both young and old, and being secure in their own skin. It makes me sad to see so many girls idealizing images on a magazine cover or in a television show... This is not reality ladies. Don't get me wrong, those women are beautiful and talented women, but we should never create a personal environment in which we compare ourselves, physically, to others. First of all, it's an apples to oranges situation. The best way I can explain this is an "epiphany" I had when I was in college. I spent a lot of my college years wanting to, desiring to look like all the pretty little sorority girls. Bigger chests, smaller hips, great legs, any hair color other than red... The more I wished or tried to be like them, the LESS I liked myself. Then, one day it just hit me... I am never going to have small hips. I am never going to look normal with any other hair color than red. I am never going to have clear skin - I will always have freckles. It sounds depressing, but realizing I would NEVER be those things acutally made me love the things I thought I needed to change.
I grew up a red head; obviously if you've looked at my photo. To say I never got teased about being a red head would be a lie. But let me say that I was not a loser. My friends were cheerleaders, senior guys, etc. I was definitley popular and had super cool friends. BUT... I was not exactly the center of attention. And to be frank, boys didn't exactly seek me out during my adolesence or young adulthood. I hated being a red head. HATED it. I wanted to be tan like the other kids - I was pale and freckly. I wanted to be a brunette - I had bright orange hair, affectionately refered to as red hair. I was skinny, but never skinny enough. I pretty much struggled with the way I looked until I was about 22 years old. That is a LOOOOONG time to wish you looked like everyone else - normal. Then it hit me...
I was on campus one day watching a pretty girl with a tiny little figure walk by and it dawned on me: I will never have that body shape. I will never have small hips. I will never have a petite butt. I will never have huge boobs. But, you know what? That's ok. In that observation of another girl, a pretty one, I realized, I'm ok. I don't need to be a size 2. I don't need to have unrealistic body measurements. I don't need to be anything other than a red head. I grew up with freckles and a small gap in my teeth. My whole life, my parents told me my gap would close naturally (my dad's did) and my freckles would slowly fade away (my mom's did). Neither of these things happend. Much to my dismay... at first. Then, on that day described, I felt okay with who I was.
So, in the longest and round-about intro ever, this one is for you red heads and not so "skinny" girls...
I HATED being a red head, as I stated, my whole life. I would have given anything to be a brunette. Then when that "epiphany" moment happened, I finally appreciated who I was. As a woman and a red head. I got teased growing up - freckle face, carrot top, ginger, etc. I always felt out of place, even when I was with the "popular" kids... Boys weren't interested in mel they wanted the blondes and brunettes. Oh my fellow red heads, this is FAR from the truth. When I finally stopped being so upset that I wasn't like everyone else, I realized the passion, interest and want for red heads. Girls, we have the upper hand more than you may ever realize. The thing is, no one will appreciate the unique difference if we don't value it ourselves first. Men LOVE red heads. The may not realize it in youth, but I promise girls, it will come. But that is far less important than your own self-confidence and strength in your own person.
Scienentific reports show red heads to be a dying breed. In my lifetime (if I'm not mistaken), red heads will no longer exist; new ones that is. We are a precious and unique set of individuals. Our differences should be celebrated, not overwhelemed by insecurity and desires to "just be normal". Like I said earlier, I really didn't like myself until I was about 22 yrs, old. I am only 26 right now as I write this. This is not a very long time to appreciate and adore oneself. Today, I wouldn't change my hair for anything - I wouldn't die it, I wouldn't highlight it, I wouldm't do anything to make it any other color than my true natural red hair. I have found value in my uniqueness, and therefore happiness. Self-respect and confidence don't come from comparison to others; it comes from within. So, I challenge ALL of you red heads to be proud, to be present, to not change. I PROMISE you will understand one day and you will see and experience personally what I am writing about. The challenge is to be a self-confident, self-trusting individual that does not blame others or hols grudges against those that are the people you assume you should be. Society does not set your existence, your mark on the world... YOU DO. Honor who you are and what you look like, and I know you will see later the value those thoughts will bring.
Now, on the other note about "skinniness", we have got to talk ladies. I completely recognize the "to each their own", but there is definitialy a skinny that is too skinny. I was in the gym recently with my friend kim and I saw this girl on the level below us and I could not believe how skinny she was. This was NOT a good look. It may me think abou the pressures I felt in my youth and the pressures girls were feeling today in their youth. I hated thinking that a young girl might come to the gym and see this crazt skinny girl and think, "I wish I looked like that." No ma'am!! I LOVE my curves. I love that I don't look like I popped out of sports illustrated. I like that I finally ADORE being a red head. And I would never touch it for anything!
What an I trying to say? This too shall pass. In the meantime, discover what makes you tick, what makes you come alive, and what you desire. Eventually, you will most likely realize that what you have is good enough and not only good enough, but perfect. Don't ever let amyone make you feel like you're not part of the "cool stuff" because you're a read head or try to alter it. I wouldn't change my hiar for the world...
