This is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard... Love Song #1 by The White Buffalo:
And I's on an island, an island for one
Burning my eyes staring at the sun, staring at the sun
And I's always silent, well had of gone deaf and dumb
I feel like a loser cause i never won, but I never won
'Til you blew in just like paper in the wind
And I just wanted something to believe in
And I just want to be your man, your friend
Carry on with you right down to the very end
Oh I'm with you
Oh I'm with you
And I's always diving, diving under the gun
Well holding on to nothing, holding onto some, well holding onto some
And I's always striving, but I'm left undone
Countin the days but the lonely dont lye, they get up and they run
'Til you blew in just like paper in the wind
Well I just wanted somethin to believe in
And I just want you on my arm, every limb
Carry on with you right down to the bitter end
Oh I'm with you
Oh I'm with you
Oh I'm with you
It's so simple. So honest. So not... Messy. I don't know, but when I heard this song for the first time, it just connected. It felt like my thoughts... My ideas about loving someone. Feeling part a whole, longing for my other half. Feeling defeat after relationships failed (although, in hindsight, they were meant to). And then hoping to find that person. My best friend. My everything. Loving someone so much you want them on your "every limb". Perfect... simply perfect.
The problem is I can't seem to allow it to be that easy. I'm surrounded by divorce, both in my family and with my friends. So I stay guarded and questioning. I don't want to, but I can't control it. I push and push and test boundaries, subconsciously, just because I need to believe it. I feel like if he doesn't fight then he doesn't mean it. Love should be defining, enlightening, encompassing, present. I just want to hear him say "I'm here," and me not doubt it... Now don't get me wrong about divorcees, sometimes it is the right choice, but it seems like most of the time today, they just quit. Just stop trying. I guess I have this urge to test because I need to know that quitting isn't the option... I never want him to stop trying... I want him to always say "I'm with you." And I... am with him.
