Yesterday I had lunch with a colleague. This was the first time we had had lunch together, so there was a lot of sharing and getting to know each other. At one point, whatever story I was telling, necessitated that I briefly describe when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Upon sharing that, she shared with me that she had lost her mother about the same time my dad got sick. At first I was so stunned and taken aback that, to be quite honest, I don't think I reacted very well or with an abundance of sympathy. Don't get me wrong - I didn't make a blundering idiot of myself; at least I don't think... It just took me a moment to express my condolences.
Well, fast forward a few hours and I found myself sitting on my couch at home feeling very surreal. Are we really at that age, the age that we have to think about our parents' passing? I started running through my mental address book of friends and co-workers, and I found that I knew several people who had lost their parents. It was a reality check for me - I felt like I just resurfaced above water after dropping in one of those dunk tanks.
Anyone who knows me, knows I don't really taking aging well or with a whole lot of grace. In other words, I've already had a quarter-life crisis and complain incessantly about encroaching on 30. Now with this new revelation, I feel even older. I guess I still felt like I was young. Actually, I still felt like my parents were young. They seriously cannot be that old yet. Right? Well, in reality, no. I mean I know we could all go at any second, but this is different. Remove that possibility and I really didn't feel like it was something I had to think about yet. I haven't gotten married, I don't have kids, I'm just starting my career... They have so much more to see, dangit!!
While I hate the idea that yes I am at that age in which I have to realize my parents aren't immortal, it prompted me to reevaluate some things. (Yes, all of this life discovery happened in a short amount of time on my couch last night.) My parents are precious and I won't have them around forever. I have to move beyond the child-like mindset that they will always be there. I have to move toward a more valuing mindset and take in the moments that I have with them and not take their presence for granted.
Love you Mom and Dad!
