I haven't decided if this is something that I've clutched; passion that is. I feel there have been beautiful moments where I've glimpsed it and felt it resonate within me, but I still long for it. Long for it at a deeper level. That energy which invigorates your mind, soul, body. Transforms your thoughts, your very presence, even if it's in the unawareness of others.
Recently I heard a quote by Howard Thurman that has just stuck with me, churning within my mind and challenging my perceptions and goals. The repetition of this quote can be no coincidence, I have decided.
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Each time I hear this or read it, this spark ignites within me. What makes me, us, you come alive? Why do we so often lose sight of what invokes passion within ourselves?
I cannot, and will not be passionless. I will forever search, forever long to feel its strength, its envelope. Without passion, I feel I may never come full circle with any action, visual, relationship, etc - never truly feel or understand it. In the last few years I have found myself focusing on this idea of passion - what it means, how you find it, where it is within myself and others. I can actually pinpoint the moment, this "aha" moment, where my life, with or without a conscious decision, took a turn. I was about 22 and it was on a most uneventful, ordinary day. I was on campus, most likely looking like I was studying, but surely daydreaming. This uneasiness, almost fear, washed over me... I felt afraid. But not in a dangerous sense. For some reason, it hit me all at once. What was I doing? Better yet, what had I been doing? At 22, I felt I had already missed out on life. Never travelled, limited my connections with others because of my emotional detachment, blindly following paths because it was expected, never questioning... I had "pigeon-held" myself. What a bust! It took all but those few seemingly unimportant moments to shift my path, my very being.
I travel. Man, do I travel. It may not always be exotic, but I never miss a chance to engage in something new, somewhere new. I'll book a flight the same morning I've decided I need to be somewhere else. This may be a little crazy and probably has some underlying instability undertone, but I'm finding passion in travel. In the place, in the people, in myself because of it.
I question. Everything. And sometimes to a fault. In the last several years, my thirst for learning has all but turned into a borderline obsession. It's become my human need to learn. Before I graduated college, I started taking classes just because they sounded interesting, challenging, odd. They provided no benefit toward my degree, but boy did they toward my mind, my being. I read. A LOT. Books are like avenues to others - a way for us to connect to each other, which is something I feel we may be losing. However, this thought is for another time...
I feel I've begun to see. Truly see. I rarely get angry. Laugh at everything. But I think the thing I love the most, feel the most blessed by its presence and change in me is that I see and feel beauty. In everything. All the time. I don't know that I've ever smiled the way I do today, and I attribute it to being allowed to see and find beauty everywhere. It's sweet and unintentional relevance to all of us.
I've been rambling, I know. But let me leave with this... Passion, regardless of its Webster's definition, is what makes each of us, well us. If you don't find it, search for it, invite it, you'll never be the you you should have been. I will always find passion in my art, my writing, my connection with others - this will never leave me. I encourage you to find your passion, and walk with me on this journey - silently and without knowing of each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment